03 Oct 2007 - Confessions of Facebook junkie

Yes, I must admit that after the initial, albeit short-lived, resistance on my part that usually forms my almost automatic reaction to virtually every new in-thing, I am now hopelessly addicted to Facebook.

I hate it, but I love it, but I hate it, but I seemingly can no longer live without it.

It's like smoking without feeling like you look cool whilst you're doing it - although admitedly it's unlikely to kill me, unless I start using it on my mobile and refresh whilst I'm crossing the road - my blackberry's nearly got me that way a few times.

If it weren't for the fact that I do actually have more work to do than I can reasonably handle every day, I would take every quiz, add every feature and bite every chump's neck I could lay my vampire schoolgirl fangs on. I am now a Jedi padawan and regularly trade "glitter" with my boyfriend's mum. Every time I get poked I'm momentarily thrilled that someone is thinking of me. Then I feel dirty, but not in a good way. It's like the short-lived pleasure of masturbation followed by the brief but inevitable moment of shame - or so my male friends tell me... .

So how was I suckered in? How did I fall for it?

Well, the truth is that I'm a crap friend. I am rubbish at making any kind of social effort at all and Facebook is the perfect tool for the lazy friend. Why bother to spend the time and effort emailing, texting, phoning, let alone actually meeting, anyone ever again when you can placate them by throwing a sheep at them or sending them an imaginary fish for a made-up aquarium? After all, nothing shows you care quite like a cartoon crab.

Is there some sort of support group I can join? How do I halt this cycle of beguiling banality? More to the point, do I really want to? All suggestions welcomed, just post on my funwall or write me a sticky note.